Tag: empty nester

Living and working from home

A realization of the new normal- a transition to a work at home family

My husband and I take daily walks, our only time to just chat about life and planning for our future. It hit me that this living and working from home is our “new normal”. I’m not sure why I hadn’t given much time to REALLY think about it but it’s sinking in!

At the beginning of the pandemic it felt like a snow storm. You know, the kind where you are stuck in the house for a while and you cook, eat and watch movies. The shelves of the grocery store were always bare but this time, the snow storm lasted 3-4 months. Stores ran out of toilet paper, cleaning supplies, flour, sugar and yeast.

Fast forward to summer, we have been enjoying being outside and since we live in NJ we know we will be inside living and working from home soon enough. It is hitting me, we need a plan! We went to the gazebo by our pool, which we now lovingly have deemed our “restaurant” when we want a change of scenery and we discussed our plan!

My Domain

The house has traditionally been my domain. I’ve worked at home for 20 years and it’s been great! I’m disciplined, organized and I’m used to having my space and time to do what I need and want to do all day. I stay busy all day long toggling between work and home duties and I like it.

We are empty nesters but we currently have 4 adults living and working from home. Quarantine was a slight adjustment to those plans. I’m not complaining at all! I love having family with me and I love having built-in social! Especially during the height of the pandemic it was great to have family in the house for company and conversation!

I can’t imagine being alone or even being alone with your spouse for that long without social interaction with friends. I’m a social person and I get my energy from others. This isolation stuff stinks! I don’t like it.

So, back to the house being “my office”. I love my family and we all get along super well but sometimes I need my space! Everyone is in “my office”, which has typically been the whole house, all day long. My sweet husband is now asking me about dinner every day and none of us have privacy.

Dinner conversations

Dinner is almost the only thing that varies every day so I guess it’s fun to talk about, but Cooking has always been my thing, I’m efficient at it. I know what ingredients we have and many times I make a decision at 5pm as to what I feel like making. Now I have to think about it all day long and discuss it. My husband is just trying to be helpful and I am so very appreciative but I don’t like to discuss it all day long. I’ve talked with him and coached him to ask “How can I help you with dinner?” as opposed to “What should we do for dinner?”

It’s a slight word change that helps me feel like I’m being supported on the plans I have made for dinner.

Work Space Allocation

Since everyone is working from home, I’ve decided that we need to set some ground rules for Fall. I believe we will all be more productive and focused if we do.

Everyone needs an office/ work space. My husband and I have separate offices in the house but many days he would “work” in the family room off my office so we could be close by. Oddly, I felt stifled like I just needed my space like I had for the past 20 years. It may sound strange but I would rather have him in his office and call or text me if he needs something than to randomly chat all day.

I’ve decided that the kitchen needs to be the “break room” and no one should work in it. It needs to be social just like a break room should be. Meals and conversations shared. NO actual work!

The dining room should be either the “board room”, “cubicle space” even “school” if needed. Many people collaborating or working side by side on productive work that doesn’t involve meetings or zooms.

If you have the space, add a small desk or workspace to bedrooms so that people can work independently and privately. Conference calls, classes or networking zooms shouldn’t disturb others.

Communication is key

The bottom line is to communicate. Gather the family and discuss what is working and not working so we can come out of this quarantine on the better end of this! We need to communicate so that living and working from home will be seamless.

Plan out shopping, cooking and cleaning so that everyone has a role. I expect once the weather gets cold, we won’t be inside restaurants so there’s going to be a lot of home cooking again!

Time management, organization and setting some ground rules for space and chores in the house will allow us all to cope with this new-normal a little better! I hope this gives you some ideas on how to deal with this work from home family life that we are all getting used to. I’m not an expert but I’m good at communicating what I need and I hope you do the same!

Happy New Year

img_3090

Does anyone else feel like they are just coming out of their summer “fog”?   I am.  It seems to take a while to get back in the groove after having no schedule in the summer.  Don’t get me wrong… summer was productive.  It wasn’t just sitting by the pool and sipping drinks….. we got a lot of projects done around the house but it has seriously taken me until MID- October to feel like things are settling into a groove!  Crazy!

So… The reason I said “Happy New Year” is because I think August or September (depending on when your school starts)  should be the NEW YEAR!    It’s a time when we start over…. refresh…. get into a routine again after a summer of being less structured.   Kids go back to school, Mom’s start to get things in order around the house.. and maybe start to take care of themselves again.   Work schedules out of the house seem more relaxed during the summer because everyone is on vacation here and there and Fall, well, everyone is back to business!   Even the calendars you buy at the store either begin in January or  academic calendars begin in EITHER July or August? How confusing!

I seem to place less emphasis on the “new year” in January and seem to feel a lot more inclined to start over and start fresh in September?  How about you?

I begin to eat healthy again after a summer of indulgences…. I begin to exercise again because there is a routine and I begin to organize after a summer of having everyone in the house.   September seems to be MY new year!

So… I am taking it on… Got new glasses to start off the “new me” and I’m back to cooking healthy and eating better!   I’m reflecting on the past with perspective… and dreaming of my future.

Are you ready to see some posts because I took most of the summer off?  What do you want to hear more of?  Here are my passions:  Decorating, entertaining, fashion & accessorizing, product junkie, food and cooking, parenting, travel,  some DIY projects, and Organization and business!   I feel like my years of experience can serve me well as I’m venturing into the “mature adult” phase of my life!  Tell me what you want to hear more of!  I’d love to share!

Half Empty Nesters


So it happened…. we took my son off to college and things changed.

I knew it would… but wasn’t quite sure how.   I have a 16 year old daughter at home so I thought I wouldn’t feel so much change all at once but maybe it’s her age, but she barely needs me anymore.   She does not have her full drivers license yet so the good news is, I’m needed for something for a few more months.

Now you have to understand, I am a glass FULL kind of person and I was finding myself a little down, (I won’t use the word depressed)   My family noticed… and after my daughter and I had a chance to talk through it, we figured out that my role after the past 18 years was changing and I was feeling less important, less needed, less significant in their lives.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a great relationship with my kids so they’ll always need me in some way, but my “mom” role was clearly diminishing.

I feel pretty blessed though because my husband and I have a great marriage and we like hanging out together…but even a few weekends of going out to dinner with each other alone has found us feeling a little lost with all the focus on the kids for so long!  I know this is the new normal… and we are getting to just be together as a couple again, which is great!   I do feel quite a bit of stress thinking about marriages that are not as strong and having to endure this “loss” of kids in the house.   Either a marriage will be ignited in a different way after the kids move away, or the marriage will be so comfortable that no change will occur or… it could be the end of some marriages.. .so NOTE TO PARENTS… nurture that marriage because THIS is coming!

So.. cheers to all those parents who successfully got their kids off to college and beyond… I know a whole new world awaits for us as parents experiencing first jobs… kids not living with us (hopefully) and we hope, eventual marriages, grandkids and more… but we won’t rush that.   For now… we will enjoy this transition the best we can.

We visited my son at college this past week and we fed a bunch of kids breakfast before we headed home…. It’s funny how just simply taking care of our kids in some way gave us such joy!   For them, they probably just appreciated the free meal and a little break from campus, but for us it made us feel so much joy to give them some nurturing… because we won’t get to do that much longer!

Would love to hear from other “empty-nesters” or “half empty-nesters”!