Tag: college

Half Empty Nesters


So it happened…. we took my son off to college and things changed.

I knew it would… but wasn’t quite sure how.   I have a 16 year old daughter at home so I thought I wouldn’t feel so much change all at once but maybe it’s her age, but she barely needs me anymore.   She does not have her full drivers license yet so the good news is, I’m needed for something for a few more months.

Now you have to understand, I am a glass FULL kind of person and I was finding myself a little down, (I won’t use the word depressed)   My family noticed… and after my daughter and I had a chance to talk through it, we figured out that my role after the past 18 years was changing and I was feeling less important, less needed, less significant in their lives.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a great relationship with my kids so they’ll always need me in some way, but my “mom” role was clearly diminishing.

I feel pretty blessed though because my husband and I have a great marriage and we like hanging out together…but even a few weekends of going out to dinner with each other alone has found us feeling a little lost with all the focus on the kids for so long!  I know this is the new normal… and we are getting to just be together as a couple again, which is great!   I do feel quite a bit of stress thinking about marriages that are not as strong and having to endure this “loss” of kids in the house.   Either a marriage will be ignited in a different way after the kids move away, or the marriage will be so comfortable that no change will occur or… it could be the end of some marriages.. .so NOTE TO PARENTS… nurture that marriage because THIS is coming!

So.. cheers to all those parents who successfully got their kids off to college and beyond… I know a whole new world awaits for us as parents experiencing first jobs… kids not living with us (hopefully) and we hope, eventual marriages, grandkids and more… but we won’t rush that.   For now… we will enjoy this transition the best we can.

We visited my son at college this past week and we fed a bunch of kids breakfast before we headed home…. It’s funny how just simply taking care of our kids in some way gave us such joy!   For them, they probably just appreciated the free meal and a little break from campus, but for us it made us feel so much joy to give them some nurturing… because we won’t get to do that much longer!

Would love to hear from other “empty-nesters” or “half empty-nesters”!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Off to College – Part 2

 Oh my goodness!   Just dropped my son off at college this past week and surprisingly no tears!   Yes…. I’m emotional… Yes.. I love him so much… but when I saw how happy he was, I couldn’t help but be happy for him!  I couldn’t help but be at peace!

The first day… all the packing and organizing paid off…. but I was not prepared for having to lug dorm furniture out of the room and disassemble it in order to unroll the rug that had been delivered!  I was a hot sweaty mess!

After several hours of moving stuff around, deliberating and lots of opinions about how his room should be arranged… He was ready to say goodbye to us!   For our sake, it was good that we stayed a few days to enjoy the town, and meet with friends, however, I could see that he was totally ready to let us go…. in fact, we were hindering him from all the things he wanted to do with new friends!

I also know that it had to be easier letting him go to a school that was our alma mater!   We were familiar… and he had grown up with the university.  I knew this was HOME for him!

It’s been a long time preparing… from SAT and ACT prep… applications, decisions, graduation and learning how to be a parent of a college student.  We’ve navigated Bed Bath and Beyond like any pro…. we’ve shopped, we’ve organized and now all that to let them go on and learn how to be “on their own” in what I remember to be the BEST days of my young adult life!

Cheers to all the moms and dads who left their first, second, third or even 6th kid at college!  We did it….. and as much as we want them back…. and we love them… we pray that they find jobs and are self sufficient one day!

It’s a new normal we have to get used to but you know you’ve done well as a parent if they are thriving on their own.   There’s so much for them to learn and experience for the first time.   We did it too!  Remember?  ;-).  Be happy and proud mom and dad!

Today is my sons “first day of school” and I only hope I get a phone call or maybe a photo!   Gosh I miss him and think about him all day but I’m so excited for him.   I hope if you just got your college student off successfully you’re celebrating your success and pat yourself on the back.  A job well done!

 

Dorm Life

Well, my first-born is going to college this fall…. and we just got back from freshman orientation.     I remember college as the BEST 4 years of my young adult life!  So I should be excited for him, right?

There are so many emotions.  I’m proud as can be, I’m excited  for him beginning this new adventure, I’m nervous he won’t get a good roommate, I’m worried he’ll get sick or need that extra nudge to get out of bed every now and then.   I’m sad about leaving him but know he’s going to have so much fun!  He’s ready.   I think I am 🙂     So now I’m overwhelmed with all the lists… the stuff one needs to set up a dorm room and get ready for college.

One idea my girlfriend told me….I thought was fabulous is for the kids to bring beach chairs into the dorm for extra seating.  Chairs can be folded and stored out of the way when kids are not using them.   Oh… I guess they are not “kids” anymore.  Maybe I should say “students”…. but they are still “kids” to me! 🙂

Definitely got gray sheets and towels…. thinking I’ll be lucky if they get washed and gray won’t look as bad if it does not get washed.   Gray should hide most things.    Maybe I should have gotten black?

Boys are definitely easier … my son truly did not want to go shopping at all.  He was, however, excited to get his new computer.

Oh.. tell me this, now is this generational or a boy thing.   I proposed getting him a white board for friends to write messages on like we all had xx years ago 🙂 but he reminded me…”Mom, they can just text me”   Wow, I thought.  Yeah, I guess they can, but what if they don’t know your number?   My son then told me that there is a directory.  Okay… So I guess we really don’t need a white board.  I suppose my son could put a sticky note on his door with his cell number for people to find him.

Finally, what about communication?    I called my mom and dad once a week I think.   With today’s technology… I really want to connect more frequently,  at least via text.     So how much is too much?  How often would you want to connect with your child/young adult/student 🙂

So much is happening to change our life… we’ll have to get used to our “new normal”.  I’d love any advice any parents have out there…. ideas…. anything!   This is my first kid leaving home and I want to be ready!

 

Going off to college!

 

It’s so much fun to see your kids grow up to be adults, although scary too!   You’ve raised your kids, taught them morals, ethics, manners, and the value of hard work and they are 18 and going off to college where you have absolutely NO CONTROL!   So hard for a planner like myself and I’m sure for many moms and dads!

You hope all the words you’ve said… the lessons they’ve learned so far are enough to keep them safe and successful going forward!

This moment pictured above is my son test driving “reliable” cars to take to college.  He’s looking at pre-owned (aka “used”)  cars but NEW to him…. something that has low mileage and we hope will last him 4 years of college and slightly into his first job.

It has been a fun journey to research cars that HE loves and WE love and we think we’ve settled on something!  STAY TUNED!

All in just a few weeks he’ll buy his first car, go to prom, graduate and go to Freshman Orientation and move off to college in August!  Crazy how 18 years of raising your child turns into this.   A HUGE EMOTIONAL GOODBYE!

I think I’m ready… but I do expect to miss him terribly!   Only 2 more years until my daughter moves out… Holding on to every minute!